I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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