I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
