yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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