don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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