some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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