Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
