This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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