I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize