I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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