I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
