found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize