Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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