i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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