Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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