You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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