The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You smell like stripper and shame
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
