she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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