Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
