you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
