Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
