My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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