Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
