i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
