woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
