I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
zippers are such a cool invention
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize