I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
