shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
