ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
