I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
