Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Even my vagina gasped.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
