Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
