dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
please don't ironically join a cult
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