Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
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Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
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Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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