you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
