oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
