butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
