i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize