ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
