mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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