miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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