We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
