How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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