Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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