Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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