come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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