Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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