there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
