Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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