Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I puked a lego.
i barfeds in our rink
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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