he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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