What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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