is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
