Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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