I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize