this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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